


The Secrets Of The Past

by robron_til_the_end



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-19 20:57:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8224598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robron_til_the_end/pseuds/robron_til_the_end
Summary: Going into a popular fan theory of what Robert did with his time away, being a rent boy. More to do with how Aaron reacts when he finds out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am absolutely going to have to slow down in my writing. But I keep getting inspired by the boys! Thought I'd give this a go, and I hope it's not too terrible. Thank you for reading!

“So, remind me again why you insisted on taking us here?” Aaron asked, though he couldn’t completely hide the grin on his face. He might pretend he didn’t like Robert taking him out to fancy restaurants and the like, but it felt incredibly good that Robert was treating him properly, not ashamed to be seen out in public with his boyfriend. Plus the food really was incredible.

“I don’t need an excuse,” Robert said. “Besides, seeing you dressed up in a nice suit’s excuse enough.”

“Is it?” Aaron asked, now showing a broad smile. Robert reached across the table and entwined their fingers together briefly. Neither one of them were that big on public displays of affection, but this was enough, the connection between them. They broke their hands apart when their main meals arrived, enjoying the fish and scallops.

“Better than Marlon’s burgers, then?” Robert asked, enjoying the satisfied look on Aaron’s face.

“Yes, but don’t tell him I said that,” Aaron said. Robert laughed to himself.

Their main plates were nearly empty when a man approached the table. “Robert, is that you?” Robert’s face drained of all colour as he looked at the man, in his late thirties Aaron would guess, sophisticated, good looking...

“Mark,” Robert replied, though he looked like he wanted to be anywhere else, his eyes darting around the restaurant as if looking for an escape route.

“I’ve not seen you in years,” the stranger said. “Still…”

“I’m busy,” Robert cut him off, looking at Aaron pointedly. Aaron felt like he had missed out on a main part of the conversation and was becoming increasingly annoyed by the way this man was looking at Robert. He knew Robert looked good, white shirt open at the throat, dark suit, but surely Aaron was the only one allowed to lust after Robert so obviously.

“Oh, I don’t mean to interrupt,” he said, though he clearly did. “Your replacement wasn’t a patch on you, Robert.”

“Goodbye Mark,” Robert said, turning back to the table and avoiding his eyes. The man clearly got the point because he walked away and Robert let out a sigh of relief. Which ended when he caught Aaron’s cold blue eyes.

“Who was that?” he asked coldly. Robert looked around the restaurant and shook his head.

“Not here,” he said quietly. “Please Aaron, don’t make a scene.”

“Fine, where?” Aaron asked, and he knew from the look in his eyes that this was something he wasn’t going to let drop. Robert sighed, dropping some money on the table and nodding to the door, the mood well and truly spoiled now. Robert didn’t speak until they were in the car.

“Come on, talk,” Aaron said. “Why was he looking at you like that?” 

“Like what?” Robert said, feigning ignorance.

“Like he was undressing you with his eyes,” Aaron said surely. He knew that look too well, it was one he often wore himself. “Are you seeing him?”

“What?!” Robert snapped. “No, of course not. I love you.” Aaron just scoffed. “Aaron, I wouldn’t ruin what we have, I’m not seeing anyone else.”

“Then what is he, an ex?” Aaron continued. “Come on, I know you. He didn’t look at you like you were a stranger, Robert. You have a history with him. Don’t lie to me, I hate it when you lie.”

“Look, he’s just someone from my past. That’s all. Please drop it.” He knew from one look on Aaron’s face that he wasn’t going to. _Maybe now’s the time to be honest?_ A small voice inside Robert said. _But if he knows, he’ll leave you._ But from the look on Aaron’s face, he was running that risk anyway. Aaron always knew when he was lying about something. And after their history, lying to Aaron wasn’t something he liked doing.

“Okay,” Robert said slowly, not looking at Aaron, looking at the steering wheel of the car instead. “That guy… a long time ago… he used to be a client.”

“So… a client for the business?” Aaron questioned. He didn’t get it. Robert had really hoped he wouldn’t have to spell it out so he sighed heavily.

“No. Not the business.” Aaron narrowed his eyes, as if unable to believe what Robert was telling him. “Don’t make a big deal of it, it’s fine.”

“You’re joking, right?” Aaron said in disbelief.

“No, I’m not,” Robert said. “I don’t like to think about it.”

“Robert, are you telling me that you… what?” Aaron shook his head. “Tell me you’re not trying to tell me you were a prostitute. I’ve got the wrong end of the stick. Right?” Robert said nothing, still looking at the steering wheel. “Robert!”

“I was kicked out of my home at nineteen, Aaron,” he said bitterly. “What was I meant to do? Curl up and die? I had no skills, few qualifications, I couldn’t go and get a job. I tried, I wasn’t good enough. The money dad sent me away with ran out very quickly. What was I meant to do, Aaron?”

“But… if you’d come home, your family would have helped you,” Aaron said. “You didn’t have to resort to… that.”

“When have you ever known me to ask for help?” Robert asked. That managed to get a tiny huff of amusement from Aaron. Maybe it wouldn’t be the end of them. “I couldn’t come back to say I’d failed to make it on my own. Doesn’t really sound like me, does it?”

“And what, being a… rent boy is your version of success, is it?” Aaron stumbled over the term, hating thinking of Robert with anyone else anyway. But to know he’d sunk so low as to have people paying him for it… People he wouldn’t even have wanted, people who probably disgusted him at times. God, the way he expected prostitutes were treated… Aaron cut that thought off instantly.

“Well, how many men have you slept with?” he asked instead.

“I’ve no idea,” Robert said. “I didn’t keep count. It was just a job, Aaron. That’s all.”

“That’s all?” he asked weakly. “You sold sex!”

“Yeah, and I’m not proud of it.” Robert sighed and tried again. “This doesn’t have to change anything between us. Please don’t let it. It’s why I haven’t told you before, I was scared you’d end it.”

“I need some air.” Aaron opened the car door, and Robert winced when he slammed it shut. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Or myintention is to slow down writing. Clearly I just can't help myself!

Robert sat in the car for ten minutes before he couldn’t bear it any more, the silence, the abandonment. He got out and tried to find Aaron. He hadn’t actually walked far, just to a wooden bench at the other end of the car park, clearly far enough away from Robert that he felt like he could breathe. Robert reached out for his shoulder and Aaron shrugged him away.

“Don’t touch me.” Robert’s heart sunk as he dropped his hand. He couldn’t lose Aaron. He should have lied, should have come up with absolutely _anything_ else. But then, Aaron could see through his lies, he always had. The only reason this hadn’t come up before is because he hadn’t been asked up front. If he had been, Aaron wouldn’t have let it drop, ever, until he got the truth.

“How?” Aaron asked. “How did you get into… that?

“Aaron, when you’re homeless, hungry, penniless and without any options, anything seems better. I‘d got to the point that I would have done anything for a hot meal and a decent sleep.”

“Except go home,” Aaron said pointedly. “Ask for help.”

“I’d sold my car, my phone, anything I could,” Robert said. “I’d gone to Manchester to try and get work, and I didn’t need my car. I wanted to go home, but I had no way to get there. And I hadn’t lost enough pride quite yet to call dad from a phone box in desperation, though I was getting there.”

“Then… what?” Aaron asked. It was like a car crash. He didn’t want to know, but he couldn’t stop asking or look away.

“I met a guy. Matthew. He offered me a bed for the night, a hot shower, if I’d do him a favour.”

“And?”

“I thought he wanted me to ship drugs, or something like that,” Robert said, shaking his head. “I told him… in rather colourful language to get stuffed. I was a naïve kid at the time, I didn’t get what he was pointing at.”

“When he made it clear…” Aaron asked. Robert shrugged like it was nothing. “Come on, Robert, you’ve started telling me so carry on, finish it.”

“I probably didn’t have as many qualms as I should have done,” Robert said with a shrug. “I liked men, I liked women, I was good at sex, I always had been, and the offer came with a bed. God, to sleep on a mattress… I didn’t much care what I had to do for it at the time. Until I met you, sex really was just sex. I never had any attachment to my partners, no feelings involved.” Aaron just scoffed, shaking his head. “I know it’s different for you, I know you get emotionally involved when you sleep with someone.”

“Oh, don’t make it out like it’s my problem,” Aaron said quickly. “I'm sorry for actually lusting after the people I sleep with. Or should I write out a cheque every time I take you to bed?”

“Aaron…” Robert said softly, wincing at the harshness in his tone. He hated hurting Aaron like this, and Aaron usually lashed out, mostly against himself. But Robert knew hee didn’t mean what he said.

Aaron took in several deep breaths, trying to calm down, bent over on himself. “Sorry, that wasn’t fair. But Robert, this is a shock to me. You must see that.”

“Yeah, I do,” Robert said. “It doesn’t change me.”

“How many people have you slept with? How many have paid you for sex? Are we talking men, women, both? You need to tell me more.”

“I slept with anyone who had the money,” Robert said, trying to keep detached. “Anyone I was told to.” His real fear right now was that Aaron wouldn’t be able to accept this, would always hang onto it and he’d completely ruined their relationship. He loved Aaron, and what he said was right. Sex was different with Aaron, more emotional, much more connected, more intense. He’d never had that before. In his experience, sex was about getting off, or a particular kink the client wanted satisfied. Never about the people involved. “It was mostly men,” Robert said. “They paid more, and… people like me were rarer. The first man I was with… I think he must have been a test or something, because he reported back to Matthew… how I’d been. If I was worth the money. That first night was the only time I physically slept next to someone who’d paid for me. I never did that again.”

“Test for what?” Aaron asked. Robert looked at him bluntly, narrowing his eyes. “Oh.”

“I think Matthew said I was young, fit and eager which is what his clients wanted. We came to an arrangement, that he‘d look after me, I‘d get somewhere to stay, proper food to eat, a place I could sleep without worrying, a bit of money, if I had sex with his clients at night.”

“That sounds like you were being groomed to me,” Aaron said darkly.

“I didn’t see it like that at the time,” Robert said. “And it wasn’t all bad, some of it was fun.”

“You’re covering,“ Aaron said. “Making it sound better than it was. It must have been awful.”

“The first year wasn’t good,” Robert admitted. “I was the new boy, I got all the clients no one else wanted.” Aaron looked horrified. “It wasn’t until Matthew had a… very specific very rich client. He wanted a tall blonde, blue eyes, British, in his twenties who kept in shape, and liked men. And someone who was clean, didn't go near drugs. I don’t know why he was so particular. I didn’t care. It was my escape route out of sleeping with the clients no one else wanted. Anyway, this man liked me, and I moved up the rankings. I got more money, I was paid very, very well. More money than I could have dreamed of before. For just a couple of hours work every night, that usually I enjoyed? It was worth it.”

“How many men were you sleeping with a day?” Aaron asked, still white under his stubble.

“Oh, come on, it wasn’t like there was a queue of men outside my flat, day in, day out. I was high end, I didn’t have to spend all day on my knees.”

“High end,” Aaron said faintly. Robert suddenly felt bad. He’d had years to get his head around what he used to do to earn a living, and here he was springing this all on Aaron. A man who would never be able to imagine being on either end of that particular transaction for sex. Selling or paying for it.

“Aaron, I love you,” Robert said, wanting to get out of the dirty details. “Surely that is all that matters.”

“Would you have ever told me?” Aaron asked, turning to look at him. “If we hadn’t bumped into your… ex client….” Aaron shook his head. “Would you ever have told me your past?”  
“No,” Robert said, completely without shame. “I was too afraid of losing you. I can’t lose you Aaron, I need you.”

“We could walk into anyone at any time,” Aaron said. “Anyone that you’ve slept with, who has paid you to get on your back for them.” Robert sighed, closing his eyes. He’d been afraid Aaron would react like this.

“Most people don’t announce they’ve slept with a prostitute,” Robert said quietly. The silence between them spread out and Robert couldn’t bear it. “Come on, get in the car and let me drive you home. You can’t sit here for the rest of your life.” Aaron got up, following his advice. It was getting cold and Robert was right. Sitting here forever wouldn’t fix anything.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so pleased and thankful for everyone's comments on this. Hope I don't let you down!!

Aaron had been completely silent, staring out of the window the entire drive home. Before the bombshell, Robert had been the one driving, so Aaron had had a little to drink. Not much, but by the time Robert parked outside the Woolpack, Aaron felt completely sober.

“You’re worrying me now,” Robert said, turning the ignition off. “Say something, anything.” Still silence. “You’re not the one who went through this, you know,” Robert snapped, pushed to breaking point. “I’ve told you something very private and you’re acting like I’ve…” Robert didn’t finish that sentence.

“I don’t know what to say, Robert,” Aaron said. “On one hand I’m… appalled that you went through that. I’m annoyed and hurt that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me ages ago. And I’m worried about how casually you talk about it.”

“Aaron…” Robert started. Though he was pleased some of the shock seemed to be wearing off.

“How long did you do it for?”

“A few years,” Robert said, making Aaron shift uncomfortably in his seat.

“Why that long? You said you were making good money,” Aaron said. “Why didn’t you get out of that life?”

“Because it wasn’t that easy,” Robert said sadly. “And even if it were, I didn’t know how to do anything else. It was the only thing I was good at.” Aaron almost snorted at that.

“God, I’m such an idiot,” Aaron said. “I knew when I slept with you that you’d been experienced with men. I had no idea how much. Why did you even go with me in the first place? What could you possibly want from me?”

“Because I wanted you,” Robert said simply. “And deny it all you like, I know you wanted me too. Most people who pay for sex didn’t want me at all. They were lonely and wanted someone or wanted to forget, and I was easy. But you wanted _me_ , Aaron. That meant so much to me. It still does. You don’t use me to forget.”

“Well…” Aaron said. “I wouldn’t go that far.” But the smile was there, just appearing at the corner of his mouth.

Robert had stopped himself from saying this the entire journey home, but now he couldn’t resist. “Please tell me you’re not going to leave me, Aaron. It doesn’t change me, I’m still in love with you.”

“I don’t want to leave you.” Robert let out the deepest sigh of relief that Aaron had ever heard. “That’s seriously what you’re worried about?”

“You’re the most important part of my life,” Robert said. “Of course it’s what I’m worried about. I would do a hell of a lot to keep you, Aaron.”

“Yeah, I think I’ve got that over the last two years,” Aaron said quickly. Robert caught his eyes and this time there was definitely a smile.

“I want to kiss you,” Robert said very quietly. He’d never asked before, usually just gone and done it. “Are you going to push me away?” It was slight, but Robert saw the shake of his head. He moved across the car and pressed his lips to Aaron’s gently. He barely responded, but he didn’t turn away from Robert either. Right now, he’d take what he could get.

“Robert, did anyone ever… hurt you?” Aaron asked quietly, his voice near to breaking.

“Yes,” Robert said, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice.

“Tell me.”

“No,” Robert said. “I can’t go into it, I have it locked away and I never think about it.”

“Okay,” Aaron said, though he seemed less than happy. Robert knew he had to give him something so he pushed up the sleeve of his right jacket and found the spot. The place where the bone hadn’t healed quite right, slightly thicker than the rest of his forearm. Aaron had asked about it before, but Robert had never told him. Aaron reached for him and stroked the spot. “There?”

“Mm,” Robert said. “Broken arm was the worst. It all healed except for that.”

“Oh, Robert…” Aaron whispered, shaking his head. He pulled Robert in for a hug and Robert sighed, closing his eyes against Aaron’s familiar body. He drew strength from him, breathing in the delicious scent of him. Robert would like to argue this, but deep down, he knew he needed Aaron more than anyone he‘d ever known in his life. He couldn’t resist, he turned in Aaron’s arms and started kissing his neck, feeling Aaron’s warm skin under his lips, feeling his pulse racing.

“Robert, no,” Aaron said, pulling back. “Not now, it’s too fresh.”

“I know,” Robert said. “Shall we go inside?” Half of him was expecting Aaron to ask him to sleep at Vic’s, and he felt incredibly relieved when Aaron didn’t.

“Yeah, lets,” Aaron said, getting out of the car.

* * *

 

They got undressed for bed in almost total silence. Robert knew Aaron was processing this, trying to wrap his mind around it and he didn’t want to interrupt that. Robert lay in bed, worried that Aaron stood staring out of the window. “Are you going to join me?” Robert asked, his voice wavering, nervous in a way he knew was very unlike him.

“Yeah,” Aaron said. He curled up next to Robert, resting his head in his usual place on Robert’s chest. But he was stiff, not relaxing into sleep the way he normally did.

“Talk to me,” Robert said, stroking his hair.

“I can’t stop thinking how many other people have laid like this with you,” Aaron said. “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t stop my mind going there.”

“Aaron, do you really believe what I feel for you… what I hope you feel for me can be replaced by money?”

“No,” Aaron said. “Robert, I do love you.” Robert relaxed, hearing the words he’d longed to. Aaron didn’t often say them, so every time he did it was particularly special. Robert felt incredibly tired and he wanted to sleep. Nothing got in the way of his sleep, no matter what was going on in his life, he’d always managed to drift off. And he’d never felt safer than when he was in Aaron’s arms.

“Can you sleep?” Robert murmured.

“I might,” Aaron said. “Don’t let me stop you, though.” The voice was amused, able to tell that Robert was very near losing consciousness. Robert closed his eyes, feeling Aaron twist to kiss his chest lightly. Maybe, just maybe they’d be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to know what you think Aaron would say / react to this in the cold light of day. I feel like I'm missing bits! Thank you for reading! x


	4. Chapter 4

Robert woke much earlier than normal, the darkness of the night till around him, dawn just sneaking over the treetops. He reached for Aaron, but the bed was cold next to him, giving him an indication of why he might have woken up so early. “Aaron?” He sat up, seeing Aaron at the window. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” he said, though he didn’t look like it. “Just thinking.”

“Get back in bed,” Robert said. “Please,” he tried. Aaron did, but only perching on the end of the mattress, biting his bottom lip, deep in thought. “Talk. Whatever it is.”

“Is this why you couldn’t accept yourself?” Aaron asked. “Accept me? Because you thought… what? Relationships with men weren’t real? Just scratching the itch if money was exchanged?”

“You were…” Robert cleared his throat uncomfortably. “I’d never felt as much for a man as I did for you, and yeah, it scared me. I couldn’t see it as real with you, because before, always…”

“It hadn’t been,” Aaron finished for him.

“Yes,” Robert said. “It’d only ever been physical. And I won’t lie to you, at times I enjoyed it, I did. But it really was only physical. I’d never felt anything even close to you.” Aaron’s lips moved into a small smile.

“You must have felt so alone. Trapped in that.”

“I had moments,” Robert said. “Come here.” Aaron did, moving up the bed to kiss him, more like their usual intimate kisses. Aaron sighed with pleasure, twisting his head so Robert could kiss his neck the way he loved. He groaned after a few moments, then pulled away, unable to completely switch his mind off.

“I can’t stop thinking of that first time,” Aaron said. “The first time you took me to a hotel. When we…”

“I remember,” Robert said. “And don’t you dare taint that memory with what you now know.”

“Really?” Aaron asked. “You’re telling me you didn’t once treat me like…”

“A client? No, I didn’t,” Robert said forcefully. “God, Aaron, how can you think that of me?”

“Because I remember,” Aaron said. Right now, he knew they were both thinking the same thing. Memories of that night filtered through, the first time they’d had unlimited time and privacy to enjoy themselves.

* * *

 

_“I want to take my time tonight,” Robert murmured, his voice taking on that deep seductive tone that made Aaron melt, his fingers brushing through his hair as he bent to his ear. “I want to touch, taste, and stroke every single part of your body.” He sucked Aaron’s earlobe carefully, gently brushing his teeth against the skin, making Aaron’s eyes snap closed. “I need to know where you’re the most sensitive. What secret places make you moan for me, so I know no one has you like I do.” How could one man’s voice already have him achingly hard? No one had ever managed that before and Aaron could feel himself unravelling._

_“Robert, please…” Aaron breathed, hoping he’d take the point._

_“Oh, am I getting to you already?” Robert grinned, his hands sliding to Aaron’s hips and pulling their bodies touching, thighs to chest. Aaron knew his eyes were dark with lust, but he was already way gone. Robert had him and they both knew it._

* * *

 

“Did you expect me to act like some naïve teenager? To not use my… experience to make it feel incredible for you if I could? I wanted you to feel so damn good, not because I was being paid for it, but because you mattered. You always matter, Aaron.”

“It’s just hard,” Aaron said, relenting a little. “To put together those two sides of you.”

“I dropped the act I had to put on a long time ago. Way before I met you,” Robert said. “From the very first time, you’ve always had me. Not the version who was available to rent.”

“Mm,” Aaron said, lying down and thinking about it. Robert pulled Aaron close, stroking his back gently, letting his fingers dip into the grooves of his spine. Aaron groaned, arching his back at the touch. Robert reached the hem of his T shirt and slipped his palm under it, working his hand back up his body. Aaron shrugged away from him, but only to completely pull the T shirt off before putting his head back on Robert’s chest. He’d always loved Robert’s large hands slowly caressing his back. It shouldn’t be arousing, but it was. Aaron moved so he could suck Robert’s nipple, though he still wore his T shirt. He hissed at the sensation, enjoying the quiet muffled moans Aaron was making, his body slowly starting to writhe. Especially when Robert’s hands slid down, fondling his arse, squeezing gently. This had always been what they resorted to when they were angry, upset or stressed. It usually defused the situation. Robert knew Aaron’s body very well and he knew he could get Aaron to climax very quickly right now, if he just moved his hands a little lower, but he didn’t want to. He wanted Aaron to take the lead, he wouldn’t push.

“No…” Aaron said. “I can’t. Not yet.”

“I know,” Robert said, stroking his hair.

“You said you were hurt,” Aaron said. Robert sighed heavily. Right now, he didn’t want to get into it, he just wanted to hold Aaron and distract them both with a round of deep kisses or more. “You said that… clients hurt you.”

“Not often,” Robert said. “And I really don’t want to talk about that when I’m in bed with you.”

“I need to know,” Aaron said firmly. “Were you…”

“No,” Robert said, putting some space between them. “I wasn’t raped, if that’s what you’re going to ask me.” From the look on his face, that had been what he was going to say.

“You could tell me,” Aaron said, eyes wide. “It’s not like I wouldn’t understand.”

“I wasn’t,” Robert repeated. “I mean it.”

“Okay,” Aaron said. “There’s one more really uncomfortable thing I wanted to ask you.”

“Go on.”

“…are you clean? I mean we don’t use condoms any more and I…”

“I’ve been tested,” Robert said, hardly able to feel insulted at that question. He had been a sex worker after all. “Come on, you know me. I might have mentioned it somewhere along the line.”

“I had to ask, Robert.”

“I know you did.” Honestly, Robert was surprised that hadn’t come up before. 

“Did Chrissie ever know? What you used to do?”

“She knew I had a bit of a dodgy past, but no…” Robert said. “I avoided it and she didn’t really want to know. I’ve never told anyone.” Feeling oddly satisfied by that, Aaron returned laying next to him, letting Robert stroke his hair in the silence, the room getting steadily brighter with daybreak.

“Are you hungry? Want breakfast?” Aaron asked.

“ _You_ are going to cook?” Robert questioned.

“Nah. If you wanted anything other than cereal, I’d go down the café,” Aaron said with a smile. Robert grinned.

“Actually, going out for breakfast sounds perfect,” Robert said. “If you wanted to?”

“Mm,” Aaron said. “Shower first though.” Normally Robert would make a quip about joining him, but he didn’t feel confident enough to right now. So he let Aaron go, lying on the bed and looking at the ceiling of their bedroom.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unexpectedly this is the last chapter. I never intended for this to be so sad as it turned out being. Thank you for the support! Enjoy! x

They were quiet, if not silent when they went to the café for their breakfast. Robert knew Aaron was still trying to wrap his mind around it all, after all, it was a lot to accept. It was only when Vic came in halfway through their meals that Robert remember what he’d taken Aaron out for last night in the first place. Her eyes were bright, hopeful and she opened her mouth to say something, but Robert beat her to it. He grabbed her arm and left the café, leaving Aaron almost gaping after them, confused at his behaviour.

“Keep your mouth shut,” Robert said instantly to Victoria before she could get a word in. “He doesn’t know anything, and I‘d like it to stay that way.”

“What?” Vic said. “You chickened out? Oh, Rob, come on, you know he loves you.”

“We’ve had… a bad few days,” Robert said, trying to invent something. “He doesn’t know.”

“Rob, I love you,” Vic said. “But you worry too much. I know he loves you, he will say yes if you ask him.”

“It’s off the table,” Robert said firmly. “I can’t after what‘s gone on lately.”

“Do you want to marry him?”

“Yes,” Robert said. “It isn’t that simple. He needs time. I can’t ask him right now.”

“What happened?” Vic asked. “You were all for it the other day. I’ve never seen you that enthusiastic.”

“Leave it,” Robert said. “It was too soon anyway. Forget I ever mentioned it.”

“You’re an idiot,” Vic said with a sigh, walking off. Robert took a deep breath before going back into the café. He was unaware that Aaron had been listening from the doorway.

“You doing anything today?” Robert asked when they’d finished their breakfasts.

“Day off,” Aaron said, trying to act like everything was normal. He wasn’t sure how many more surprises he could take. “Why?”

“I want to show you something. Up for a drive?” Aaron nodded, biting his bottom lip as he didn’t know what Robert was planning. Robert reached across the table and pulled Aaron’s bottom lip free gently, needing to touch him. “Don’t worry. You trust me?”

“Yes,” Aaron said honestly, forcing a smile. “Let’s go.”

* * *

 

Aaron was quiet on the drive, which Robert put down to last nights revelations. In truth, Aaron couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation he’d overheard between Vic and Robert. Did Robert seriously want to marry him? Had last night been when he’d planned to ask? They had got dressed up for a nice night in a restaurant, and they’d never even made it to dessert. Would Robert have done it? Surely he’d have known Aaron wouldn’t want a big public thing. But then, Aaron remembered. Robert had suggested a walk around town before heading back home. It was an offhand statement that hadn’t registered at the time.

It wasn’t until they passed the road sign reading “Manchester” that Aaron realised where they must be going.

“Robert, what’re we doing?” Aaron asked sharply.

“I’m taking a risk,” Robert said, still paying attention to the road.

“Why?”

“I own a flat,” Robert said. “I wanted to show it to you, but if it’s a stupid idea, we’ll do something else. Whatever you want.”

“Huh. I’ve never seen you this twitchy,” Aaron said, seeing the funny side. “Didn’t think you did nervous?”

“I do when something matters to me,” Robert said, catching his eyes for a moment before returning to the road.

“I need to be honest with you,” Aaron said. “I can’t do this.” Robert sighed very deeply, looking devastated and Aaron knew it’d been a bad choice of words. “No, I mean, I’ve got to tell you something. I overheard your conversation with Vic. This morning. Outside the café. I didn’t realise what I was eavesdropping on.”

“Oh, Aaron, that is not how I wanted you to find out.”

“You never asked me.”

“Other things kind of got in the way last night, or don’t you remember?” Robert snapped. Then he took a deep breath. “Sorry, it’s not your fault. I just… I wanted it to be right. Nothing about this is right. Why do we never have the chance to have anything go well?!”

“Robert, calm down,” Aaron said, reaching across the car and squeezing his thigh gently. “It’s fine, I’ll just… forget what I heard Victoria saying. It doesn’t matter, we’ve got time.”

“Have we?”

“Yes,” Aaron said firmly. For some reason, that made Robert feel a lot better.

* * *

 

Aaron had no idea why Robert wanted to bring him here, and even Robert was doubting the wisdom of his decision. But it was too late now, as Robert moved up the block of flats to the top floor, Aaron behind him.

“It was the first thing I ever had that was mine,” Robert said as he unlocked the door. “Maybe I shouldn’t have been proud of it, with how I earned the money that paid for this, but I was. I never thought I’d have anywhere to call my own.” Aaron looked around the open plan flat, and apart from the atmosphere of neglect, it looked very nice, clearly expensive. Everything had it’s proper place, the large sofa, the pristine kitchen. Aaron could easily imagine Robert living here.

“Has anyone ever been here?” Aaron asked.

“No,” Robert said. “Or not in the way you mean. Vic’s been here a couple of times, before I moved back to the village. And I pay someone to keep an eye on the place, make sure there isn’t a water leak or anything like that. But other than that, only me.”

Aaron looked at him in disbelief. “Seriously? Never Chrissie or…”

“No,” Robert said. “This was private, this was something that was mine, that I never shared.”

Aaron recognised what Robert was doing, trying to tell him, or show him, that he was more important than the past. Aaron turned to him and kissed him deeply. Robert had a moment of surprise before he returned it. It was passionate, intense, and most definitely leading somewhere. Robert’s hands slipped under Aaron’s T shirt, and Aaron broke the kiss only so he could pull it off. Robert could feel the desire for Aaron, hot and desperate. If Aaron wanted to stop this, he better say quickly, because Robert couldn’t resist him for long. Aaron’s hands reached for Robert’s hips, and he pressed himself down on Robert’s thigh, making Robert moan, feeling him hard. Restraint felt long gone as they impatiently stripped each other, almost falling onto the sofa. Even though it hadn’t been that long for them, an awful lot had happened and the frantic need could almost be tasted between them. Aaron started to stroke Robert slowly, making him whimper underneath him.

“How d’you want me?” Robert breathed. As soon as the words left his mouth, he saw Aaron freeze, registering them and what they could mean in a different setting. He‘d meant did Aaron want to top or bottom, not what Aaron clearly assumed. “No, I meant…” Robert sighed, giving up, the mood clearly broken. He’d been hard and throbbing and he wanted Aaron so badly, needed to feel his body against his own, the thrill they both got from each other, always.

“It’s fine,” Aaron said. He kissed Robert gently, the urgency having faded, but still pulled Robert close, their bare chests pressed tight together. When the kiss ended, Aaron kept hold of him, needing to touch him. “What do _you_ want?” Aaron asked, keeping his voice neutral. Robert smiled softly at him, feeling his heart ache wonderfully.

“God, I love you.”

“Doesn’t answer my question,” Aaron said with a grin.

“I want to feel you inside me,” Robert whispered, hands wandering. Aaron groaned against Robert’s lips and Robert silently marvelled at the man in his arms. Aaron was so special to him, and he never wanted to forget it. He knew that when he’d spoken to Vic earlier in the week that he’d been right. He couldn’t see him spending his life with anyone else and he didn't want to.


End file.
